No, You Didn’t Choose It… And, No, You Can’t Change It… So What Are You Going to Do About It?

You didn’t choose and cannot change the locale of your birth. You didn’t choose and cannot change your ethnicity or your parentage. You didn’t choose and cannot change the color of your skin. But you can choose to change almost everything else. Dwelling on what you didn’t choose and can’t change does you no good. It doesn’t soothe your pain. It doesn’t change the past. It doesn’t lift you up. It doesn’t give you hope. And it cannot improve your future. Feeling victimized by what you didn’t choose and can’t change actually hurts you. It makes you angry, Which depletes your energy, Which makes you weak, Which makes you less capable of moving ahead. Ultimately, this way of thinking is a tragic waste of your precious time. So why do so many supposedly smart and learned people promote it?   READ MORE Because it’s an idea that sells. It’s an idea that attracts believers and, thus, gives the monger selling it substantial power. And with power comes prestige. And parlayed smartly, power and prestige bring fortune. But the idea/philosophy/religion of victimhood is only half an idea. To complete itself, it needs someone or something to blame. Every middling salesperson knows this. (It’s one of the primary selling techniques Donald Trump used to get elected.) But blaming what you didn’t choose is not a solution. It’s not a solution because it’s futile. It is futile because… Those you blame did not themselves choose what you did not choose. And because that is so, they will only resent your blaming. And when they resent you for your blaming, they will turn against you even if they were otherwise inclined to help you. And that is assuming they can help you at all. Because what they cannot change is exactly what you cannot change – the locale of your birth, your parentage, and the color of your skin. But more importantly, every minute and every ounce of energy you spend on blaming will not help you. Not one bit. It won’t make you smarter. It won’t make you stronger. It won’t make you more attractive. Blaming others for what you didn’t choose and cannot change… Does not reduce the obstacles you face; it increases them. It does not soothe your negative feelings; it fires them up. It may sometimes hurt those you blame, but it always hurts you. And it never moves you one inch closer to a better or a happier existence.