Notes From My Journal
How Not to Raise Spoiled Brats
I believe children grow up to be what their parents want them to be.
When my children were young, I wanted them to be good at everything they did – school, sports, music lessons, etc. And they did a reasonable job of that. But when they became young adults, I wanted something very different for them. I wanted them to be independent (financially and emotionally) and kind.
I believe that, as parents, our first two obligations are to make our children respectful of adults and children their own age. By building on these good habits, we can then focus on helping them become both independent and also kind. Independent so they can succeed in life when we are not there for them. And kind because we want them to grow into adults we can both like and admire.
I believe, further, that we cannot help our children become independent and kind by indulging them in whatever they want. Nor can we help them by befriending them. A good parent is a parent, which means setting reasonable expectations and firm boundaries.
Jordan Peterson has much to say on this topic. Click here for one of his thoughts on the challenges of raising children – in this case, on the consequences of overprotecting them.