Bach, Rachel Carlson, and MC Escher 

I’m a fan of MC Escher’s art. And Rachel Carlson’s writing. And Johann Sebastian Bach’s music. (Who isn’t?) But did you know that they are connected? Escher and Carlson were inspired by Bach. And each was also inspired by the other. In fact, thanks to The Marginalian, I discovered that Escher wrote about his admiration for Carlson several times in letters to his friends and to his son. For example:

She describes that liquid element, with an overview of all its associated facets and problems, in such an enthralling manner, with precision and poetry, that it is driving me half insane. This is exactly the kind of reading material I, with my advancing years, need most: a stimulus from our mother earth for my spatial imagination…. It is kindling in me intense inspiration to create a new print.

If you’d like to read more about this connection, Maria Popova writes about it in this (typically overly florid) essay. Click here.

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One of the Boys 

By Daniel Magariel

176 pages

Released March 14, 2017 by Scribner

It was in one of several to-read stacks in my office. I selected it to take with me on the trip to Myrtle Beach because (1) it was thin, (2) it had a bright orange cover, and (3) it had an endorsement by George Saunders (a writer I greatly admire) above the title: “Brilliant, urgent, darkly funny, heartbreaking – a tour de force.”

The Story: After a divorce and acrimonious custody battle, a man and his two sons leave Kansas for Albuquerque, where they will start a new life. The boys enroll in school and join the basketball team, while the father works from their apartment. As the weeks go by, the father’s behavior becomes suspect. As the months pass, things go from bad to worse.

One of the Boys is a good book. Compelling, insightful, and well written. It is about love and abuse, ambition and addiction, and dependence and desperation. If that sounds depressing, it is. I was in a low mood when I read it, and it didn’t cheer me up. But it did get me thinking.

Critical Reception 

* “Magariel’s debut is sure, stinging, and deeply etched, like the outlines of a tattoo. Belongs on the short shelf of great books about child abuse.” (Kirkus Review)

* “Magariel’s gripping and heartfelt debut is a blunt reminder that the boldest assertion of manhood is not violence stemming from fear. It is tenderness stemming from compassion.” (New York Times)

* “Because it homes in on instances of abuse to the exclusion of all else, it risks feeling like a deposition rather than a story. Whenever the father appears, he is doing another thing that would scar a child for life. Virtually every adult is a seedy, frightening derelict to whom the boys are exposed through the father’s neglect.” (The Guardian)

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Are Ladies Lightweights?

The average woman weighs about 15% less than the average man. So why is it that all the rules on safe drinking suggest that the average man can safely drink twice as much alcohol as the average woman?

Is this sexist? Unscientific?

It turns out to be roughly accurate. That’s because the capacity for absorbing and tolerating alcohol depends on more than just body mass. There are three factors that matter. Body mass is arguably the least important.

Here’s a brief explanation from Peter Attia. Click here. 

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For Your Edification: The Best and Worst Airlines 

I’ve done a fair amount of plane travel in my life. Not millions of miles. But probably close to a million. I’ve traveled domestically at least 1,000 times and internationally at least 100. There are many people that have flown more than I have. In fact, I probably haven’t flown enough to have an informed opinion about which are the best and worst airlines. And yet, I do!

And I compare my opinions to those I see published every year by various travel magazines and newsletters. In a rating recently published by World Airline Awards, the lion’s share of the top 20 spots were divided between Asian and Arab country airlines. That’s been my experience, especially in the first-class cabin. (If you’ve never experienced first-class flight with Singapore, Qatar, or Emirates Airlines, you don’t know how luxurious first class can be.)

In comparison, US airlines generally provide their customers with a distinctly second-class experience. Even in the first-class sections on domestic flights. The equipment (which is how people in the industry refer to the planes) is often old and dirty. The flight attendants are at best officious and, more often, disagreeable. And the efficiency and reliability of the service ranges between average and disappointing. It doesn’t surprise me that only three US airlines made it into the top 50 – and that was Delta at 24, Southwest at 34, and Jet Blue at 48.

As a rule, you’re almost always better off with an Asian, Arab, European, or Australian airline when traveling internationally. In the US, Jet Blue is solid. Southwest is one step down. And Delta and the rest of the US airlines are to be avoided, if you can. (For East Coast to West Coast flights, I would recommend Virgin Airways.)

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“I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.” – Jean Kerr (who was my godmother!)

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Re my “Father-Son Talk” essay in the Oct. 11 issue: 

“I loved your piece on father-son talks. It was funny because it was so painfully true!” – SA

 

“Once men were direct and straightforward. Sadly, slowly, they turned into pushovers.” – VB

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Here’s Katy Perry singing “One of the Boys,” a song that was not inspired by the book I reviewed above (and, as far as I can tell, has nothing to do with any of the book’s themes). It’s about something that might be considered impolitic today. It’s about a tomboy, who, as she moves into puberty, realizes that she really is a girl after all.

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The Father-Son Talk 

I was twelve years old. My father and I were on the train, traveling from our home on Long Island to the city, where he was teaching a course in speed reading that I was taking. It was about eight a.m. Which meant the train was full of people, almost exclusively men in suits. What motivated him to do it then and there I will never understand, but it was on that train ride on that morning that my father, the professor, decided to give his eldest boy the father-son talk.

I only heard the first sentence. It was articulated clearly in his pansophic voice. “Mark. Are you aware that there are actually two biological functions for your penis?”

Every other thought or conversation happening in that train car at that moment came to a screeching halt. I was acutely aware that everyone within earshot was focused on us. For them, I’m sure, my father’s lecture was going to be touching and amusing. For me, it was an absolute adolescent nightmare.

I have no recollection of what happened after that. I could not even tell you whether my father continued his biological treatise. I know only that I would have given anything, even my life, if I could have disappeared.

When my boys reached that age, I was reluctant to put them through the same sort of trauma. So, when K told me it was time for the father-son talk, I balked. “I don’t think they want to have that conversation,” I said. “And anyway, they probably know everything already.”

K disagreed. This was a parental duty, she explained. One of the few that I could do better than she. I was always a sucker for that kind of puffery. So, I agreed. But when it came time for the talk, I eschewed my father’s formal approach. I kept the talks short and sweet.

They went something like this:

Me: I think we should have a talk.

Son: What? Is this going to be the talk about sex?

Me: Well, sort of.

Son: Forget it, Dad. I probably know more than you do.

Me: Yes, you probably do.

Son (smiling): Did Mom put you up to this?

Me (frowning): That’s not the point.

Son (laughing): It’s okay, Dad. Consider the conversation complete. You can assure her that I know what I need to know. You did your job. We had the conversation.

Me: I did? We did?

Son (still laughing): Yes, we did.

Me (clearing my throat): Okay, then. Great! Well, I’m glad we were able to discuss it.

That was then. This is now. In six or seven years, my eldest grandson will be old enough to have the father-son talk with his dad, our second son. But the world is a very different place today. Back then, it was relatively simple. And naïve.

So, when Number Two Son has that conversation, I can only wonder how it will go. Hopefully, not like this…

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Pansophic – from the Greek pan (“all”) plus sophy “knowledge”) – means “wise, all-knowing.” As I used it, above: “I only heard the first sentence. It was articulated clearly in his pansophic voice. ‘Mark. Are you aware that there are actually two biological functions for your penis?’”

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This may surprise you… 

In Delray Beach, bike lanes are ubiquitous. The new ones are painted green and have a slightly different surface coating than does the road on which they are painted. They say it’s for safety. And that seems like a good thing. Right?

Well, it would surprise our local regulators to know that bike lanes don’t make bicycling safer. On the contrary, every study that has been done on the subject has concluded that they make it less safe. This was documented ten years ago by industrial engineer John Forester, who published an 800-page book on bike safety titled Effective Cycling.

In fact, most of the things that governments use to make roads safer have the opposite effect than intended.

I remember reading a story about a town in England that didn’t have a budget to install all the stop signs and traffic lights the town elders felt were needed. So, they hired a specialist who convinced them to try something radically different: “shared streets.”

Instead of adding more lights and signs, he suggested they eliminate all of them. The only thing they’d do is alert drivers that they were approaching an intersection by changing the surface of the road.

The result? Traffic accidents went down. Significantly. Including fatalities.

And that is what has been happening in Montgomery, AL, since the city eliminated bike lanes and most traffic lights and signs in the downtown area in favor of European-style cobblestone streets and plazas shared freely by cars, bikes, and pedestrians.

It may seem counterintuitive, but when you understand what happens when you eliminate safety measures, the reduction in accidents makes perfect sense. What happens, says Chris Conway, a city engineer involved in the Montgomery transformation, is that drivers are forced to pay more attention and take more responsibility for their actions. “The more uncomfortable the driver feels,” he says, “the more he is likely to make eye contact on the street with pedestrians, other drivers and to intuitively go slower.”

I’ve seen this play out in my hometown every time the traffic lights black out after a storm. No traffic cops. No signs. Just four- and six-lane roads crisscrossing one another. And guess what? The traffic moves steadily. Drivers look out for pedestrians. Everyone is more alert and courteous.

There’s a lesson here that applies to other things we do to produce desired results. More isn’t always better.

Click here for an article on bike lanes from Forbes.

And click here for a longer article about traffic safety devices and regulations from Scientific American.

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