Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World

By Haruki Murakami

416 pages

Paperback published in 1993 by Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group

This was my book club’s book for October. I’d heard of the author. And Suzanne, my partner in my art business, is a fan. Still, I probably wouldn’t have read it were it not October’s selection. (There are probably 600 titles on my “must-read” list. If I get to half of them before I die, it will be a miracle.)

There are two plots in the book – one in the even chapters, the other in the odd chapters. The first takes place in the Hard-Boiled Wonderland; the second in the End of the World. Usually, this sort of narrative device is made obvious through the chapter titles or at least the characters’ names. But here, it was obfuscated, since each story is told by an unnamed narrator. It took me several chapters to figure it out.

In the Hard-Boiled Wonderland, the narrator describes himself as a Calcutec, someone trained to do computer-complex data encoding, which he encrypts through his subconscious mind. In the End of the World, the narrator is being trained as a dreamreader, someone that reads residual memories from the skulls of unicorns… or something like that.

If that has you thinking “far out,” you should know that the stories also include a mad scientist working on “sound removal,” his chubby and flirtatious granddaughter, a rapacious librarian, a pair of incompetent mobsters, an underground labyrinth, subterranean monsters, living shadows, a gatekeeper that guards them, and a miniature accordion that is the key to the End of the World.

 

What I Liked 

Notwithstanding the complexity of the action and the opacity of themes, both narratives are engaging and fun to read. As a whole, the book has the pace and forward momentum of a page-turner.  Also, the narrator of the Hard-Boiled Wonderland plot is infatuated with Western culture, which allows the author to pepper the narrative with familiar Western references. The plot and dialogue seem to be influenced by paperback detective stories, in the mode of Raymond Chandler. The End of the World plot is fantasy fiction along the lines of Kafka.

 

What I Didn’t Like 

The novel is promoted as a “deep dive into the very nature of consciousness,” and several critics praise it for that reason. I didn’t find anything deep in the sections that talked about consciousness. Instead, I found the sort of ideas you’d expect to find in a 1950s science fiction movie or a comic book.

 

The Takeaway 

If you like fantasy fiction, whodunits, or even magical realism, you may like this book very much. If, like me, you don’t, you may still enjoy the book, but probably not as much.

 

Critical Reception 

The novel has received critical acclaim both domestically and internationally. Here are some examples:

* “Murakami’s bold willingness to go straight over the top [is] a signal indication of his genius… a world-class writer who has both eyes open and takes big risks.” (The Washington Post Book World)

* “Rich in action, suspense, odd characters, and unexpected trifles… [a] provocative work.” (The Atlantic)

* “Murakami’s gift is for ironic observations that hint at something graver…. He is wry, absurd, and desolate.” (Los Angeles Times Book Review)

* “Off the wall… hilariously bizarre… splendid… a remarkable book.” (The [London] Times)

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Dream/Killer 

Initially released May 4, 2015

Now available on various streaming services, including Netflix and Amazon Prime

Directed by Andrew Jenks

Starring Bill Ferguson, Leslie Ferguson, Ryan Ferguson

Another informative, compelling documentary about wrongful conviction and the difficulty of achieving a reversal, even when the evidence is clear.

The Story: In 2005,  Ryan Ferguson, 20, is arrested in Columbia, Missouri, for murder, and sentenced to 40 years in prison. But his defense was bungled at best, and the prosecution was handled with malfeasance on the part of the DA. So, the young man goes to prison to languish there. But his father decides to get to work to find evidence to exonerate him.

In this 2-hour film, Canadian director Andrew Jenks dissects Ryan’s case, showing the corruptive nature of power and brutally slow machinations of the US justice system.

 

What I Liked 

* It’s a good watch, because the true-life story works as a classic drama with Ryan as the victim, the DA as the antagonist, and Ryan’s father as the protagonist/hero.

* It has a happy ending.

* Behind bars, Ryan provides a candid and intimate look at his life, with animation used to recreate his 10-year ordeal.

* The filmmaker capably orchestrates suspense (if you don’t already know the outcome), and benefits immeasurably from an immensely likable central character, Ryan’s father, who narrates his own decade-long battle to win his son’s release.

 

What I Didn’t Like 

Actually, nothing.

 

Critical Reception 

* “Tonally, the film is a mess, unable to decide if it’s a damning downer or… the inspiring story of conquering injustice.” (Robert Abele, Los Angeles Times)

* “Though the timeline and a few details could use further clarification, Dream/Killer remains fast-paced and frightening.” (Ken Jaworowski, New York Times)

* “The fact that viewers, like the Fergusons, can muster only bittersweet relief at Ryan’s release from prison is the film’s whole point: The legal system itself is so damningly captured.” (Ernest Hardy, Village Voice)

You can watch the trailer here.

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A peek inside Paradise Palms Conservatory and Gardens…

Broom Palm (Coccothrinax argentea) 

Also known as Hispaniola Silver Thatch or Cana Palm, this palm is endemic to Hispaniola. It is a fan palm with circular-shaped leaves that grow to 5 feet wide. Young leaves are eaten as a vegetable. Leaves are also used for thatching and making brooms. Traditional healers have used parts of the plant medicinally for fibroids and hot flashes.

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Bits and Pieces 

Everything You Need to Know About Impressionism in 5 Minutes 

Most people that like modern art like Impressionist paintings. I wish that weren’t true. But it is.

Impressionism was an artistic movement that began in the 1860s in Paris. The Impressionists eschewed Realism, which depicted images more or less realistically, in favor of capturing a momentary impression.

Four of the best-known Impressionists were Sisley, Monet, Manet, and Renoir. They liked to paint outdoors, and made a fad of it. They called it painting en plein air.

I’m not a huge fan of Impressionism. When it’s good, it is reasonably good. But most of the time it’s not good. And when it’s not good, it is sentimental, gimmicky, and pandering.

There was, in France at the same time, a development in Modernism that I think is much better. It was Fauvism, led by André Derain.

Of course, the art world doesn’t care what I think. And neither should you. But you should care about knowing some of the basics of this movement if you want to have and voice an opinion on it. Here are a few things to get you started…

* Impasto – By using short, thick brushstrokes, the artist could create a visible 3-dimensional effect on the surface of the canvas.

* Broken Color Technique – It was believed that the artist could create a more vibrant visual effect by mixing colors optically, as the human eye does, rather than by physically blending the paint. It was done by making dots or scratches on the canvas.

* Number: 250 – The number of water lily pond paintings by Monet.

 * Year: 1824 – The year Monet painted “Impression, Sunrise,” from which the Impressionist movement was named.

 * Quote – “Impressionism: it is the birth of Light in painting.” (Robert Delaunay)

 

Fitness Trumps Slimness for Health and Longevity 

I was happy to hear about a just-released meta-study comparing the health benefits of diet/weight versus exercise/fitness. Fat people, the study concluded, are better off getting fit than losing weight.

Glenn Gaesser, a professor of exercise physiology at Arizona State University in Phoenix, and Siddhartha Angadi, a professor of education and kinesiology at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville, reviewed more than 200 studies (involving tens of thousands of subjects) related to dieting, exercise, fitness, metabolic health, and longevity.

The results, they found, were not even close. “Compared head-to-head, the magnitude of benefit was far greater from improving fitness than from losing weight,” Dr. Gaesser said.

Specifically, their analysis showed that sedentary, obese people that improve their fitness can lower their risk of premature death by as much as 30% or more, even if their weight does not budge. On the other hand, they found that the health benefits of losing weight were inconsistent. Some studies showed that weight loss among obese people does not decrease mortality risks at all. And even those that showed a decrease, showed a decrease of about 16% or half of the results achieved by improving fitness.

 

Shel Silverstein: Much More Than I Knew 

I have always thought of Shel Silverstein as a cartoonist and author of children’s books. So, when I saw this photo of him last week, I was shocked:

Does that look like the face of the beloved creator of Don’t Bump the Glump!

It turns out that Silverstein was much more than a bestselling author of children’s books. He was also an essayist, a poet, a songwriter, and a playwright.

His songs have been recorded by the likes of Johnny Cash and The Irish Rovers. He won 2 Grammys and was nominated for a Golden Globe and an Academy Award.

Silverstein began drawing at age seven by tracing the cartoons of Al Capp. His first published drawings were in a student newspaper at Roosevelt University in Chicago, where he studied English. He spent time in the military, during which his cartoons were published in Pacific Stars and Stripes.

When he left the military, he returned to Chicago to study at the Art Institute, and began to submit cartoons to magazines while also selling hot dogs at Chicago ballparks. His cartoons appeared in Sports Illustrated, Look, and This Week.

He became well known in 1956 when “Take Ten,” the cartoon series he did for Pacific Stars and Stripes, was republished by Ballentine Books as Grab Your Socks! In 1967, his work began appearing regularly in Playboy, which sent him around the world to do an illustrated journal of his travels.

He wrote music and lyrics for Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show. He also composed original music for several films and played guitar, saxophone, piano, and trombone for those compositions. He cowrote Things Change with David Mamet. He also wrote stories for the TV project Free to Be…You and Me.

In an interview with Publisher’s Weekly, Silverstein said:

I think that if you’re a creative person, you should just go about your business, do your work, and not care about how it’s received. I never read reviews because if you believe the good ones, you have to believe the bad ones too. Not that I don’t care about success. I do, but only because it lets me do what I want…. People who say they create only for themselves and don’t care if they are published… I hate to hear talk like that. If it’s good, it’s too good not to share. That’s the way I feel about my work. So, I’ll keep on communicating, but only my way.

Here’s a friendlier photo of him:

He died in Key West in 1999, at the age of 68, from a heart attack.

 

Interesting Facts About Asia 

You’ve never been to Asia? Shame on you. And I bet you didn’t know that Asia is home to…

* The two most populous countries in the world (China and India), with a combined population of 2.8 billion. Third is the USA with a paltry 330 million.

* Four of the world’s nine nuclear powers: China, Pakistan, India, and North Korea.

* The world’s second- and third-largest economies: China and Japan.

* Almost all the largest Muslim countries, including Indonesia, India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Turkey, and Iran.

 

A Reader Asks: Is tequila all it’s cracked up to be? 

Hello Mark,

I am testing the world of tequila, mainly for where it stands in the area of health when it comes to spirits.  I finally realized about 5 years ago that the brown whiskies and beers, even though I liked them quite a bit, hurt me physically.  I have since been having only vodka and red wines.  I have known that tequila is reasonably good for you when it comes to alcohol, but I never really understood it.

I know you have a taste for tequila, so if you have any suggestions, it would be appreciated.

My reply:

I used to drink rum but it made me irritable. Tequila doesn’t have that effect on me. Also, it doesn’t give me a hangover… no matter how many shots I have on a given night. They say it’s the best for metabolic reasons. I’m not sure about that.

There are three basic types: blanco, reposado, and anejo. Blanco is clear and not aged… reposado is light golden and is aged up to a year… and anejo is golden brown and aged at least a year.

If you are mixing tequila with club soda or fruit juice, blanco is fine. If you want to drink it straight and savor it, the aged tequilas are usually better. You will get some of the variations you get with a good, smooth, aged whiskey.

For a tequila highball (usually made with club soda), I drink Casamigos Reposado. For tasting, my preference is for José Cuervo Reserva de la Familia.

Yes, that’s the same brand that produced rot-gut tequila back in the day. Now they are a big company and can afford to make what I think is one of the world’s best sipping tequilas.

 

The Benefits of Drinking 

Doc Eifrig, a friend and colleague, tells me that a drink or two of any alcoholic beverage has the following benefits:

* It provides high levels of an antioxidant called polyphenols, which lower your risk of heart disease and high cholesterol.

* It gives your immune system a boost.

* It activates the neurotransmitter gamma-aminobutyric acid, which is responsible for memory and nervous system function. This, according to two recent studies, could lower your risk of developing age-related cognitive decline – i.e.,  dementia or Alzheimer’s disease.

And if your drink of choice is, like mine, tequila, it  has the added benefit of being low in calories (80 per ounce).

 

3 Words I’m Trying to Work Into My Conversations 

* cattywampus refers to something that is in disarray, that is askew, or to something that isn’t directly across from something else. For example, a post office might be cattywampus to the library.

* tarradiddle is a petty lie or pretentious nonsense. A great example is that classic fisherman’s tale of “the fish that got away.”

* bumbershoot – a word that you may have heard in many a Disney film – is a humorous slang term for an umbrella.

 

Worth Quoting 

* “The longer I live, the more uninformed I feel. Only the young have an explanation for everything.” – Isabel Allende

* “When failure is reversible, act quickly. When failure is irreversible, think carefully.” – James Clear

* “Money is a singular thing. It ranks with love as man’s greatest source of joy.
And with death as his greatest source of anxiety.” – John Kenneth Galbraith

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If you spend, as I do, 8 to 10 hours a day seated, hunched forward, and working on a laptop, you’re going to have all sorts of physical problems. Here is a very simple way of dealing with that.

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COVID Lockdown Update: America’s Restaurants Are Being Decimated 

DS, a friend, is the CEO of a substantial restaurant chain. We’ve been talking about the extreme challenges that her industry has been facing since the COVID lockdown began.

Between the near-hysterical fear promoted by the uninformed but opportunistic mainstream media and the hyper-zealous “stay at home” response from federal, state, and local governments, the restaurant industry has suffered enormous losses. In 2020 alone, more than 110,000 restaurants had been shuttered (about 80,000 of that number for good), erasing 2.5 million jobs and accounting for $240 billion in lost revenue.

In the last few months, thanks to widespread vaccinations and the fact that tens of millions of Americans have survived COVID and acquired natural immunity, our country is at or close to herd immunity. And that means fewer cases and many fewer deaths.

People – even anti-vax fanatics – grok that, and are returning to restaurants. But many of those restaurants are struggling mightily to find employees to service the returning customers. As DS, says, “despite higher base wages and thousand-dollar signing bonuses, it’s still nearly impossible to find people willing to come into work.”

You might think the larger restaurant chains would be doing better. And in late 2019 and 2020, they did. But this year, the hardest hit segment of the industry is chains with between 51 and 100 units.

I did a bit of research on this and was surprised by how many chains that I am familiar with are filing for bankruptcies and closing units permanently. To wit:

TGI Fridays

 

The chain closed 34 units in 2019 and predicted it would close another 20% of its 386 units by the end of 2020. Thanks to success with delivery and curbside service, they closed fewer units than anticipated, but still expect to close between 10% and 20% globally.

 

P.F. Chang’s 

In March 2020, P.F. Chang’s had its credit rating downgraded, largely due to the impact of the coronavirus outbreak. It was, by then, $675 million in debt. A month later, it permanently shuttered a location in New York, laying off more than 100 people, and then in May, did the same to a restaurant in Maryland. In September, the company announced it would be extending temporary layoffs of thousands of employees.

 

Luby’s

The buffet chain with a legacy that spans more than seven decades announced in 2020 that it was looking to sell off all assets and liquidate the company due to the devastating effect of the pandemic. It planned to shut down officially in August 2021, but 32 of its Texas locations have been saved by a buyout deal with Chicago-based Calvin Gin.

 

Fuddruckers

As a part of Luby’s, Fuddruckers’  solely owned properties will be gone, and many of its franchises will be sold. But some – as many as 30, perhaps – will remain in business at least until the end of 2021.

California Pizza Kitchen

As a whole, fast food and pizza chains have done relatively well during the pandemic. But California Pizza Kitchen, which had been centered on a sit-down model, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in July 2020. It emerged from bankruptcy in November – but how many stores will survive its financial restructuring is anyone’s guess.

Ruby Tuesday

Ruby Tuesday has been in decline for about 10 years. The pandemic accelerated that greatly, with 150 locations closed at least temporarily. The company filed for bankruptcy in October 2020 – and after shedding its liabilities (including most of those “temporarily closed” locations), emerged five months later, saying that it would be focusing on developing its “delivery-only” brands.

IHOP

After more than 60 years in business, IHOP is facing a troubling future. While many chain restaurants have struggled, IHOP and the rest of the breakfast segment have been hit particularly hard. The takeout and delivery options that have helped keep other eateries afloat during the pandemic have not caught on in the breakfast market.

IHOP closed down 16 locations in the third quarter of 2020 as sales dropped by 30%. It plans to close another 100 or so locations over the next six months.

 

Applebee’s

Applebee’s closed 20 stores in the last quarter of 2019, and another 15 during the final quarter of 2020. And though the company announced plans to open dozens of new locations, it also said that dozens more could close throughout the current fiscal year.

 

Steak ‘n Shake 
Steak ‘n Shake has been around for the better part of a century – but the chain, known for its “steakburgers” and milkshakes, has closed more than 80 locations since the beginning of the pandemic.

 

Denny’s

Denny’s was doing very well. But by the start of 2020, it had lost 60% of its customers and permanently closed 73 locations.  According to Restaurant Business Online, it’s having great trouble hiring enough staff at its remaining locations. Around 70% of units have failed to return to all-hours dining since the pandemic began.

 

Chuck E. Cheese’s

Chuck E. Cheese’s filed for Chapter 11 protection in June 2020. At the time, with more than 600 locations, it was the largest restaurant company to do so in the wake of the pandemic.  It exited bankruptcy after restructuring and paying off more than $750 million in debt.

 

Red Lobster 

Rumors of Red Lobster’s demise go back to at least 2013. But what the chain is facing now is more than just speculation. In  August 2020, the chain hired an advisory firm to help explore options moving forward. That same month, Red Lobster admitted that it would need to close some of its more than 700 restaurants.

 

Subway

After more than five decades in operation, as sales stagnated and costs increased for labor, food, and technology, Subway closed more than 2000 locations in 2020. Subway still has 41,600 locations in the world, so it may survive, but the current trend is not good.

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Bits and Pieces 

Diversity Quotas – Do Advocates Really Believe in Them? 

Wokeness: the pathology of believing one can be virtuous by advocating ideas one hasn’t thought about.

Example…

Diversity quotas: the policy of establishing institutional quota systems for groups based on race, ethnicity, or gender.

In this short video clip, college students are asked if they agree with the policy of using racial quota systems to achieve “representative” diversity in colleges, businesses, and other institutions. Without exception, they agree. Then they are asked another question, which lays bare the superficiality of their thinking and makes at least a few of them think about the question for the first time.

 

Smart Choices, Martha Stewart, and Computer Logic 

“Which car to buy?” “Which restaurant to eat at? “Which clothes to save and which to get rid of?”

“If I had a bit more time to research the alternatives and think about my choices, I could arrive at the best answer,” you might say. “Ain’t necessarily so,” according to Tom Griffiths, a computer logician.

In his TED Talk (below), Griffiths argues that many human problems – even mundane ones – are logically complex. Too complex to arrive at a “right” decision through research and hard thinking. To solve such problems, you must do what computers do, he says. And that means taking logical shortcuts.

One logical shortcut that works for quandaries like the three mentioned above is called the explore/exploit tradeoff. Griffiths explains it here

By the way, recency of use, as Griffiths points out, is, in most cases, the most important criteria. I think it’s interesting that the two queens of domestic efficiency, Martha Stewart and Marie Kondo, include this as a key question.

 

Why Old Marketers Don’t Like New Ideas 

“The strategies that made you successful in the past will, at some point, reach their limit. Don’t let your previous choices set your future ceiling. The willingness to try new ideas allows you to keep advancing.”– James Clear

One of the many counterintuitive things I’ve learned in my business career is that senior marketing executives – who should be eager to keep up with and test new advertising trends – tend to be among the most resistant to them.

I believe there are two reasons for this.

  1. Being competitive individuals, the best marketers like to promote and defend their own marketing ideas over those of others.
  2. The insights and experiences they had early in their careers, which propelled them into senior positions, still feel valid to them, even in the face of contrary indications.

Thus, they are prone to dismissing new ideas as fool’s gold – superficially glittering but fundamentally flawed ideas that are unlikely to work because they don’t fit into their understanding of how things should work, which is based on their 20- and 30-year-old brilliant ideas.

In a recent blog post, James Clear discusses this. New ideas are often dismissed as gimmicks and toys, he says. “The first telephone could only carry voices a mile or two. The leading telco of the time, Western Union, passed on acquiring the phone because they didn’t see how it could possibly be useful to businesses and railroads – their primary customers.”

In our industry – information publishing – social media platforms are evolving at a rapid pace. I can’t keep up with them, but I hope our senior marketers will. Doing so will require them to resist their prejudices and keep an open mind.

A few of us were talking about how quickly information publishing is changing. When we got into it more than 40 years ago, everything was paper and postage stamps. The internet changed all that around the turn of the century. At that time, we paid attention and transitioned into digital publishing. The result was massive growth over the following 20 years, from $100 million to over a billion.

But today the landscape for digital publishing is very different than it was 20, or even 10, years ago. Social media is the name of the game and we’ve not been quick and able adaptors.

 

Speaking of Counterintuitive… Have You Heard of the Birthday Paradox? 

There were 14 of us at the Cigar Club last Friday. I mentioned that I shared a birthday with one of them, Tony. I mentioned it because I thought it was unusual. Nanie didn’t think so. He said he’d read that any time you have 23 people assembled, there is a better than even chance that two of them will have the same birthday.

I rolled my eyes.

“It’s true,” Louis said. “It’s called the Birthday Paradox.”

I took a sip of my José Cuervo Reserva de la Familia. “Have you ever heard of the Cigar Club Paradox?” I said. “Whenever you have more than 12 people assembled, there is a good chance someone will try to bullshit you.”

It turns out, the Birthday Paradox is a real thing. The next day, I received the following from both Nanie and Louis: two charts that prove it – and below that, a video that explains it. (Hint: It’s not really a paradox.)

(A) Probability of two people not sharing a birthday

(B) Probability of two people sharing a birthday

Click here to watch the video.

 

Kicking the Social Media Habit 

TD, a friend and colleague, was heavily addicted to social media.

“It got to a point where I was checking my phone 100 times a day… and 95% of the time, I’m not using my phone for anything urgent or important. I just cycle through the same six or seven apps, checking for updates or messages. It’s a form of escapism from boredom and anxiety,” he said. “One consequence of this ‘checking’ compulsion is that I’ve wasted a lot of time hunched over a tiny screen for no reward.”

He implemented a 3-part solution:

  1. He replaced his smartphone with a flip phone.
  2. He limited his use of the internet to one hour a day.
  3. He limited his reading to books and other paper products.

He’s been at this for two months, but admits, “Frankly, I haven’t made a lot of progress.”

I became aware of the problem of email when I first began to use it regularly about 20 years ago. I was writing a daily blog back then called Early to Rise. Among other topics, I wrote about personal productivity.

“It’s becoming clear to me,” I wrote, “that email is going to be a major problem for me unless I get control of it. I find myself opening my email first thing in the morning and then spending several hours on it, but without much to show for it when I’m done. I think that’s because two-thirds of the nearly 100 emails I get each day are either (a) unrelated to my goals (and therefore distracting), (b) related to my goals, but trivial, or (c) messages from others asking me for favors.

“I don’t consider myself to be a morning person, but I’ve found I have the best focus and energy in the first three hours of the day. If I devote those precious hours to email, I’m not only wasting my best hours, I’m putting myself in the unfortunate position of having to do my important work when I’m tired and unfocused.”

The solution, which I recommended to my readers, was to do the important work first and save the email for later. “Break the habit of looking at your email first thing in the morning. Try to put off your email for as long as you possibly can.”

That one trick was a game-changer for me in terms of personal productivity. In the 21 years since I put that rule into practice, I’ve done all sorts of things I would never have done otherwise, including writing and publishing more than two dozen books, producing two movies, developing a non-profit community development center in Nicaragua, developing a 25-acre palm tree botanical garden in Florida, and a current project – building a museum of Central American art.

Social media wasn’t a distraction 20 years ago, but it is now. And to deal with it, I’ve added social media to my don’t-do-in-the-morning list.

After my important work is completed (which is usually in the mid-to-late afternoon, I open my email and sort it by urgency: (1) do today, (2) do this week, and (3) do this month. I do not respond to – in fact, I delete – anything I don’t have to do. Then I deal with my “do today” email, allowing myself no more than 2 hours. If I get it done in less than 2 hours, I work on some of my “do this week” email.

By the time I’m finished with email, it’s usually close to dinner time. I’ve done several hours of important work, and I’ve done all the less-important-but-still-necessary business work that comes via email. I have, in effect, finished working for the day. I am sometimes tempted to go on social media then, but I don’t. I go home and do my best to be sociable.

After dinner, I usually grab a cognac and cigar and sit outside. I spend an hour or on what I call “brain games” – i.e., the NYT crossword puzzle, Sudoku, and various quizzes, the sort of quizzes I sometimes pass along to you.

After that, I hit social media. I have a half-dozen “News & Views” sites that I go to first. I make notes and save some of them for future use. Then I move on to various “Entertainment” sites. These include odd and indefensible rabbit holes such as Karens in the Wild, The Professor (an amazing B-ball player), videos of bungling criminals, etc. A half-hour of this sort of low-brow fun is more than enough. Then I reward myself by reading a good book or watching a good movie.

I can’t say this system will work for everyone, but it works for me. It works for me because it is designed around my nature. I am not good at NOT doing things that I like to do, but I’m quite good at doing things that I think are good for me. By giving myself permission to partake in social media, I don’t feel like I’m depriving myself. But by doing a range of more important things first, I don’t have to worry that I’m wasting too much of my time on junk.

 

3 Words I’m Trying to Work Into My Conversations 

 * zaftig (Yiddish): Referring to a woman – having a full rounded figure; pleasingly plump; Example: “The actress playing the lead role was a zaftig blonde.”

 * quinary: Of the fifth order of rank. Example: “She discusses other mixtures, including those of the secondary through quinary colors.”

* gigil: A Filipino word describing that sudden urge to pinch or squeeze an unbearably cute object or a person. Example: “The baby was so adorable I had the gigil to squeeze its cheeks.”

 

Worth Quoting: Obituaries 

 Obituary notices are not usually a source of great fun…

“If one should not speak ill of the recently dead, unless they were utter monsters such as Pol Pot,” said Theodore Dalrymple, writing in Taki’s Magazine, “one should not speak facetiously of them, either.”

The temptation is nevertheless great…

“You should never say anything bad about the dead, only good,” said Bette Davis upon learning of Joan Crawford’s death. “Joan Crawford is dead. Good.”

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How to Find Years of Enjoyment in a Moldy, 50-Cent, Garage-Sale Book 

I have this beautiful old book. It is hardbound, 500 pages thick, and has the potential to provide me with hundreds or even thousands of hours of learning and pleasure.

Titled Spanish – A Basic Course, and published in 1971, this is not the kind of textbook you are likely to find in bookstores today. It is too old-fashioned, too academic. I bought it at a flea market. It was sitting in a box full of books that looked as though they had been packed at least 20 years ago.

There is something sad about an old, discarded book. You look at it and think about all the time its author and publisher spent producing it. All those hours of careful thinking and critical revisions and the selection of typefaces and fonts and illustrations. If this particular book has been neglected and unread, what about all its siblings, all the other copies that were printed with such hope and good intentions? Are they also collecting dust? Have they too been disconnected from their purpose?

A book is a physical thing, but it serves as a link between two intellectual processes. On the one side is the thinking, planning, and care that goes into creating it. On the other side is the learning and imagining that takes place when it is read. A book that is not being read breaks that link. Every book that was made with effort and care deserves at least one comprehending mind to keep the link alive and justify its original purpose.

When I buy an old, obscure book like my Spanish textbook, I have the good feeling that I am rescuing something valuable from oblivion. But simply buying it and bringing it home is not enough. Left unread, rescued books are still orphans, transported from one miserable orphanage to a slightly better one. When I put Spanish – A Basic Courseon my bookshelf, I could almost hear it whispering to me: “Bring me back to life!”

And I did.

I don’t have a natural talent for learning languages. But I managed to learn French pretty well many years ago by immersing myself in a French-speaking environment for six weeks while I was training to be a Peace Corps volunteer in the French-speaking African country of Chad. I supplemented that “forced practice” by studying another beautiful old textbook.

Like my Spanish book, it had been written, used, and remaindered decades before I found it – and it was the perfect formal companion to the relatively relaxed learning experiences I was having during my training.

I don’t remember the names of the authors of that French textbook, but I am grateful to them and their publisher every time I go to France. Since the book was paperbound and almost 30 years old when I started using it, it didn’t survive my two-year stint in Chad. But I like to think I gave it one more chance to be what it was meant to be – like Rocky Balboa coming back for one more super fight – before it disintegrated.

This Spanish text is hardbound and a bit younger, so is likely to live as long as I do. And although it modestly describes its purpose as “to give the beginning student of Spanish a useful and working knowledge of the language,” it is clearly capable of doing much more. It is, in fact, an entire world of Spanish that could easily keep me enthralled and connected to its authors – Judith Noble, Elizabeth Fouad, and Jaime Lacasa (all of Iowa State University) – for a very long time.

The page before the cover page, for example, has occupied my imagination for several very satisfactory moments on several occasions. In the upper center of the page is the title.

Beneath that, there’s a box, stamped in ink, with the following warning:

Miami-Dade Community College Honor Court

Any unlawful sale or purchase of this book is prohibited. Violators will be prosecuted by the Honor Court or College Discipline Committee.

Below this, there’s a series of little boxes: “Bought By” and “Sold By.” In the first “Sold By” box, there is a signature in blue (looks like Elisa Albe) and some numbers (62875 and 00390). Elisa Albe, I am thinking, was either the librarian for Miami-Dade Community College or an officer of its Honor Court. I haven’t any idea what those numbers mean, but I wonder about them. And this Honor Court – what did it have to do with Spanish textbooks?

The next section of the book, spread over 20 pages, has about 50 photographs of life in Spain and Latin America. There are grainy images of peasants selling vegetables… vibrant shots of fishermen casting nets… romantic images of sombrero-ed sleepers under trees… full-color scenes of city streets… gloomy close-ups of wrinkled old men… and happy snapshots of beautiful young women.

There is something about these photographs – about the fact that they were taken more than 50 years ago and that the people in them are probably dead now – that makes me wistful. I like looking at them, though. And the more I look at them, the more mysterious and beautiful they seem. I have gazed at these pictures with satisfaction dozens of times, and yet I feel like I will be able to look at them with pleasure and wonder for the rest of my life.

The bulk of this hefty book is devoted to the teaching of Spanish. Each chapter begins with a dialog that contains both the vocabulary and the grammar that will be taught in the 20 or so pages that follow. The vocabulary is taught through the repeated use of the intended words in practice sentences and subsequent test questions. The grammar is taught traditionally, as if it were Latin, from which – of course – Spanish is derived. At the end of all the chapters is a list of irregular verbs, conjugated for quick reference, followed by a glossary and an index.

The text is set in an elegant typeface. I don’t recognize the font exactly, but it is round and balanced with serifs – like a Palatino or a well-fed Times Roman. And the size of the type makes for an accessible look and easy reading – attractive features for an aging language student like me.

This morning, sipping coffee, I sat on the porch and studied Chapter 23 – a lesson on the passive voice. Like English, Spanish permits its speaker to construct a sentence actively, such as “John ate the apple” (Juan como el manzana) or passively, such as “The apple was eaten by John” (El manzana fue comido por Juan).The information is neatly organized and explained. The instructions are clear. The pace is comfortable. The authors give me plenty of opportunity to review.

The more I read this book, the fonder I become of those three people who may no longer be living but whose hard work back in the 60s is still giving me instruction and pleasure today. I want to thank them for doing it.

Not all of our books can be as dear to us as this one is to me. But we should all have at least a handful of books that can be cherished as long as the binding holds.

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