“What It’s Like to Be a Transgender Dad” 

Here’s a TED Talk about the difficulties of being a transgender dad. It’s given by a very likable person with a problem that can’t be solved. He wants the world to accept his “authentic self” – as a biologically born woman that feels not exactly but more like a man than a woman, and has decided that he wants to be a “dad” to the baby girl that he and his wife hope will be free to choose his/her/their gender later on.

The problem is not that this person has identity confusion (which he admits). It is that he thinks the confusion and hurt he feels about it can be fixed by the rest of the world accepting his view of himself. Worse, he imagines that he – and his child – will feel better and the world will be better if this could magically happen.

But it can never happen. And that has nothing to do with his identity. All of us would very much like the world to accept our views of who we are. But the world has no interest in doing that. The world is comprised of billions of people that are primarily interested in themselves, and don’t have the time or the inclination to succor the feelings of anyone but a close circle of family and friends.