The Beauty of a Good Conversation
“Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative.” – Oscar Wilde
Earnest and well-meaning interlocutors are the worst. They talk about everything that matters in the most fervently boring way.
Next to them on my psychic-pain-endurance scale are kind and sensible talkers, people that speak incessantly about feelings – theirs or yours. I won’t deny it. I have feelings. At least as many as the next guy. But most feelings are ephemeral. And conventional. Unless they rise to the level of the pathological, they just aren’t special, no matter how special they may feel.
Then there are the memoirists – those people that can’t stop talking about everything and anything that happened to them since you last saw them. The dullness of their conversation is equaled only by their obliviousness to the unfortunate recipients of their chatter. Can’t they see that no one cares?
I do enjoy most business conversations. But that’s because there is almost always an objective and a time limitation. They feel more like contests than conversations. Let’s see who can get to the solution first!
I also enjoy philosophical conversation – when it is sincerely had, which is rarely the case.
Most conversations are social in nature, and when it comes to partners in social conversation, I look for wit and intelligence mixed with a good dose of irreverence and a soupçon of disdain. Those are the key ingredients in gourmet-level banter.
I’ve spent a fair number of hours reading the heralded literary conversationalists of the past. There are dozens of them. But the two I’d most like to bring back to life, for a little dinner party, would be Oscar Wilde and Dorothy Parker. Here is a sampling of each:
Oscar Wilde
“I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.”
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
“It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.”
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
“A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.”
“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”
“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.”
“There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”
“Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.”
“A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.”
“The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.”
“Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.”
Dorothy Parker
“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”
“That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”
“I hate writing, I love having written.”
“Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.”
“The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”
“The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.”
“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”
“Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.”
“A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.”
“Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.”
“His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.”
“She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw – I don’t say she will, but she can.”
