MarkFord
“Privacy on the internet. That’s an oxymoron.” – Catherine Butler
Myopia (short-sightedness) is associated with higher IQs.
“The Man Who Invented the Calendar”
“BJ Novak was an actor in and one of the writers for the US version of “The Office.” He’s a smart, funny man. I read a book he wrote recently – can’t remember the name. Very good. This little piece, published recently in The NewYorker, is a good introduction to him, if you don’t know him already.
“The Gunfighter”
Just days after writing the above essay, a friend sent me the link to this hilarious short film. Besides poking fun at a cliché of cowboy movies, it actually advances the idea I was writing about – that the end of privacy might lead to greater social acceptance of differences – and then shoots it down. By the way, according to YouTube, this little masterpiece has been watched by more than 51 million people, which I have to believe would make it the most-watched films of all time.
George is stuck between a rock and a hard place. About a year ago, he came out of retirement to work as a consultant for a large hotel complex in my town. He was brought in to rescue the project after the city had rejected the plans a half-dozen times. The developer thought, correctly, that George’s connections with the city would help get things moving again. After getting into the details, George realized the problem wasn’t with the city. The plans were full of mistakes.
He worked like crazy for months, reviewing and revising the plans and generating clever solutions where resolutions didn’t seem possible. He rescued the project, and so he should be on easy street now. But the project manager never gave George credit for all his good work. Worse, he took credit for it himself, and implied to the developer that George had been all but useless. That pisses George off.
George’s wife tells him, “Stop trying to be a hero. Just do the work, take the money, and forget about that jerk.”
On the surface, that sounds like good advice. But it’s not. As a consultant, George’s value to the business is demonstrated by all the problems he’s solved, the time he’s saved, and the reduction in spending he’s achieved. (Several million dollars and counting.)
If the developer doesn’t understand this – if he really believes the project manager solved those problems – there’s a good chance he won’t ask George to consult on his next job. That will be bad for George. But it will also be bad for the developer because he’ll be wasting money on mistakes that George could have prevented.
Watch Out for Jerks That Are Good at Managing Up
George is frustrated. “The man has no idea what he’s doing,” he told me. “He gives bad directions. And when things go wrong because of those bad directions, he blames someone else. He has absolutely no management skills.”
“Actually,” I said, “there is one management skill that he’s very good at. Managing up.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s terrible at managing down… managing the people below him, the people that are doing the work,” I said. “But from what you’ve said, it sounds like he’s great at managing up, managing the expectations and satisfaction of his boss.”
You might wonder how the project manager’s boss could know so little about George’s contributions. He’s the person on top. He’s paying for everything. Heck, he hired George! How could he believe the BS that his project manager is feeding him?
I have an insight because I’ve been in his position many times in my business career. And there were times when I was blind to what went on beneath me – when I let a supervisor, manager, or CEO deceive me about what was going on in the organization.
This always happened when there were two situations in place:
* I didn’t have enough time to pay serious attention to the business.
* I had someone running the business that I trusted completely.
Because I had so little time, I was more than happy to get all my input from the person that I trusted completely. We would meet once or twice a month for 30 to 60 minutes. I’d look over reports designed specifically for me. I’d ask a few questions. I’d get a few encouraging answers. And then we’d make an appointment to meet up again.
When those businesses went into decline, I never changed my approach. I asked questions and got answers. The problems were always caused by external factors. Not only did the managers present themselves as blameless, they let me know that the only chance of recovering was to continue to support them.
I can think of three perfectly good multimillion-dollar businesses that I had to close because I failed to recognize what was going on: I was being managed.
Here’s something you should know: Upward managers don’t care about the health or long-term profitability of your business. What they care about is that it does well enough to pay the bills and take care of their personal financial aspirations. So when things start to go bad, they don’t feel the need to sound the alarm. They will do what they can to bandage the wounds. But if the patient looks terminal, they’ll quietly start shopping for another job while they continue to tell you that the patient is just about to turn the corner.
And here’s another thing you should know: The upward managers I worked with were very smart, very good at manufacturing specious information, and very adept at manipulating my emotions.
Looking back, I can see three reasons I let this happen.
- Hubris. I prided myself on believing that I was too smart to be fooled by “facts” or manipulated by flattery and false projections.
- Laziness. Because I was busy with so many other things, I was unwilling to spend just a few more hours per week looking deeper into the numbers and having conversations with other employees.
- Fear of failure. Beneath everything – the pride and the laziness – I think I had a fear of failure. On the surface of my mind, I was accepting the BS I was being handed. But deep down, I always knew that there were problems, even before the businesses went into decline, I knew it. But I did nothing about it and continued to rely on the upward managers because I was afraid I could not solve those problems.
I don’t know the developer that hired George so I can’t know for certain why he’s allowing his project manager to be his sole source of information. But given the fact that he hired George, I can think of only one reason he wouldn’t want to hear from George: He’s fallen into the trap I fell into. He doesn’t really want to know what’s going on. He wants to trust one person. He wants to keep things safe and simple.
Upward managers are bad for the people that work for them. They are bad for the people they manage (their bosses). And they are ultimately very bad for business.
If your boss isn’t giving you credit for your contributions to the success of the business, think seriously about finding someone else to work for. If you have heard “managing up” rumors about someone working for you, have a serious talk with him. You may discover, as I did, that you have been shirking your primary responsibility… making sure the business is being run the way you want it run.
“The Cruise Ship Nightmare That Ended in a Mutiny” on History.com
An interesting story about a cruise liner that ended its lifetime career of luxury service by treating its customers like chattel.
Vatican City is the smallest country in the world. Its population is 1,000. Its area is 109 acres.
An email from SR:
Although becoming wealthy in America is not an easy task, the steps outlined in Automatic Wealth give the reader a great place to start. All too often, a book is purchased with the hopes of a “magic formula” that will make the reader rich in a week. Not the case. This book shows how to turn dreams into achievable goals, and expects the reader to take action on the advice being offered.
Following the steps in the book has led to more doors of opportunity opening for me, as well as a new mindset that has allowed me to seize opportunities that I would have never seen had I not changed my way of thinking. I promise this book, if followed correctly, will more than pay for itself.
An inspiring TED Talk from a person that refuses to consider himself a victim.
When you get to my age (68), you arrive at crossroads that are different from the ones you encountered before.
The choices may be similar. But the decisions you make have more importance because you don’t have decades ahead of you to start again if you end up on the wrong trail. Even a decision as insignificant as buying another car is a bit more challenging because you recognize (at least in some corner of your mind) that this may be the last vehicle you will ever drive.
A more important decision – because it affects so many parts of your life – is how much socializing you are going to do.
In my high school and college years, I had all sorts of social relationships. My immediate family, the kids in my neighborhood, my fellow football players, and so on. When K and I had kids, the number of social groups I was involved in changed and diminished. Now it was some neighbors, some workmates, and the parents of my children’s friends.
The way this usually goes is that your circle of friends narrows again after the kids go off to college. And then it narrows again as old friends start to die. To make matters worse, we tend to drop friends as we age. They do something we object to and we find it’s not as easy to forgive them. It’s easier to just stop seeing them. After all, there’s plenty of stuff to watch on TV.
Having friendships, it turns out, is about much more than just social amusement. According to studies that keep popping up, staying social as you age keeps you healthier in mind and in body and is the single most important factor in terms of longevity.
I am rich in friendships. Not because I’m a gregarious person. I’m not. But I do have an irrepressible curiosity about people, and especially about people that are new to me. So I’ve always been a “joiner” and a starter of groups. These days, for example…
The Mules Book Club: 12 to 14 very interesting and accomplished men that meet once a week to have philosophical discussions based on our diverse reactions to reading books ranging from a biography of Thurgood Marshall to Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov.
My Jiu-Jitsu buddies: A larger group of about 30 athletes, mostly but not exclusively men, mostly younger than me, whose interests range from sex to politics to yoga to surfing to the life lessons Jiu-Jitsu can teach us.
The Cigar Bar: Every Friday, my private Cigar Bar is open to family, friends, and colleagues to stop by for a drink and a smoke or just to talk about their week. Despite the cigar smoke, this group is about 35% women, and that percentage is increasing. (A good thing!)
The Salon: Once a month, I invite a dozen people whose intelligence I admire to discuss everything from estate planning to anthropology to philanthropy, etc.
The Movie Club: Another monthly event, this one hosted by a friend and film expert. We eat buttered popcorn, watch an artsy classic (e.g., Jules & Jim, 8 ½, Blow-Up, The French Connection), and talk.
Joe’s Estate Planning Group: Organized by a friend and former colleague of mine, this is a group of super-wealthy professionals and entrepreneurs that are old enough to be thinking seriously about what they should be doing with their money. At every meeting, we have an expert speaker. And after each speech, we have a conversation. Two recent topics: “A Proven Stock Strategy for Long-Term Growth” and “When and How to Get Your Kids Involved in Your Estate Planning.”
Since I’ve been thinking about estate planning for nearly 20 years now, little of the information is new to me. But I do enjoy getting to know some of these rich old geezers and hearing their stories about how they made their fortunes.
My writing friends: I know lots of published authors. Most don’t like to talk about their craft. This is an informal email group of about a half-dozen that do. Most of the time we bitch about how hard we work. I like these conversations immensely.
My art world acquaintances: As an art collector for so many years, I’ve developed a good-sized Rolodex of artists and brokers and other collectors. But until Suzanne Snider took over as director of Ford Fine Art, I never socialized with any of them. Nowadays, several times a year, I get to travel to interesting parts of the world and have face-to-face conversations with all these interesting people.
My Spanish- and French-speaking friends: I wouldn’t have thought of this as a separate social group, but in fact, I’m in regular contact with about a half-dozen people with whom I speak only Spanish and another 3 that I speak to in French. When you speak a second language imperfectly, as I do, you don’t have the ability to convey the depth of your personality as you do in English. You have to settle for being someone who is slower in thought and less clever in speech. This is a wonderfully humbling experience.
Old friends: I’m lucky to be in regular contact with about a dozen friends from my high school days. And the number is growing thanks to a recent 50th year reunion. I am also in touch with a half-dozen friends from my days as a Peace Corps volunteer in Africa. These friendships are sustained mostly through email. But when we do get together once or twice a year, the closeness is almost astonishing.
Business partners, competitors, and colleagues: When I got into the publishing industry in 1977 (after Africa), I worked for a small business and was on friendly terms with everyone else who worked there. Nowadays, I have interests in dozens of businesses with thousands of employees, so I can’t possibly know even the names of 10% of them. But I am still fairly close to several dozen colleagues that I’ve worked with over the years. These are not regular relationships, but they are based on so many years of shared experience that I consider them valuable.
My family: It seems that most families I know are broken. In one case, nobody speaks to the father. In another, the mother ran away with the butcher. I know dozens of people that don’t speak to a sibling or a parent or even a child for some reason. And then there are so many families – like the one I grew up in – where cousins have never even met one another.
I didn’t want this to happen to our families. So about 30 years ago, we began sponsoring what we call cousin camps – child-focused family reunions. This had the effect of bringing all of us closer together.
My readers: And finally, there is the much larger but less proximate community of my readers. The hundreds of thousands of people whose names I do not know, but who have nonetheless honored me by reading my books and essays. At least once a week, I get a letter from a reader that makes me feel I’m not wasting my time by continuing to write.
Now that’s a lot of social connections.
But what a blessing! I seldom suffer from loneliness or ennui. Every day, I have not only good work and challenging projects to look forward to but also smart and interesting and sometimes crazy people to do it with.
And I never forget that this is all a result of a dozen conscious decisions I took at some point in the past. When given a choice to say yes to being with others or being by myself, I chose others, even when it would have been much easier to choose myself.